Welcome to Gen Z reality: hookups, body count flex, wanna be “baddie”, and green/red flags.
These aren’t just terms. They reflect deep-rooted psychological and social dysfunction. From guys who gaslight to girls who treat love like a game of Tinder swipes, the red flags are flying everywhere. Let’s decode this culture raw, real, and without filters.
Table of Contents
Red Flags in Men: What Makes Him a Red Flag Person ?
1. Ad Hominem in Relationships
“Ad hominem” means attacking the person instead of the argument. In relationships, this fallacy happens when instead of addressing concerns, one partner attacks the other personally.
Example: “You can’t talk about trust issues, you’re just insecure and stupid.”
This is emotional abuse disguised as a debate. Instead of solving the issue, it becomes about character assassination. If your partner often dismisses your feelings by attacking you, rather than discussing the issue, it’s a massive red flag.
2. Dominating Masculinity
If a guy still believes he should “control” a woman because he’s the man, you’re not dealing with strength—you’re facing a red flag.
3. Can’t Respect Choices
He talks over you, dismisses your goals, and flips if you wear what you like or make your own decisions. That’s not love. That’s ownership.
4. Toxic Content Consumption
Following misogynists like Andrew Tate, bingeing on adult content, or scrolling nonsense reels all day? His feed = his values. Check them.
5. Language & Tone
Watch how he speaks. If he’s loud, rude, or degrading in his tone often, that’s emotional abuse, not just bad communication.
6. His Circle
His friends and family matter. If his group glorifies disrespect or is overly traditional/patriarchal, chances are he’s no different.
7. He Justifies Everything
He always blames others. Justifies being rude. Says you’re “too emotional”. Another sign.
8. Ideology Check
Does he dismiss religion completely? Or impose it? Either extreme can be an issue. Same for politics.
9. Addictions
From drugs to gambling to porn—these aren’t just habits. They change how he treats you.
(These points are for women too, as nearly as possible)
Red Flags in Women: What Makes Her a Red Flag Person?
1. Flexing Body Count Like It’s a Trophy
This isn’t about slut-shaming. But research shows: women with 10+ partners before marriage are 58% more likely to divorce. It matters if the person values commitment.
2. Treating Love Like a Transaction
You’ve seen it online: “I want a husband with a government job, 6 figures, and a house in Bandra.” That’s not a relationship, that’s a trade.
3. Makeup, Money & Materialism
It’s okay to enjoy a lifestyle. But if it’s ALL about money, makeup, vacations, and designer gifts—and she expects you to fund it—run.
4. Her Past Isn’t Off Limits
If she cheated before, lied before, used someone before—and proudly says, “I’m not that girl anymore“—observe her actions now. Don’t ignore it.
5. Friends & Family Mentality
In India, if her parents only want a guy with a government job, it’s not her wedding—it’s a financial merger.
You are not your job. If that’s all they want, they don’t want you.
6. Justifying Manipulation via Feminism
False accusations, misusing alimony laws, or emotional blackmail in the name of feminism? That’s not empowerment. That’s toxicity.
7. She Talks But Never Listens
If she always wants you to understand her but shuts down when you speak? One-way communication is a red flag.
(These points are for women too, as nearly as possible)
Culture Check: The Social Red Flags
Arranged Marriage Syndrome
- 90%+ of Indian marriages are arranged.
- Consent? Often assumed, not asked.
- Wife = Obedience. That’s the cultural default.
NFHS-5 (India 2019-21): 29.3% of married women reported experiencing domestic violence. Majority are in arranged setups.
Love Marriages Aren’t Perfect But…
- Emotional intimacy is higher.
- Women are more likely to report abuse. As family is more supportive.
- Marital rape is less common .
“In arranged marriage, many girls are not wives. They are survivors.”
When Family = Red Flag
- Parents trading daughters for jobs or dowry are living in cognitive delusion.
- They say: “If she’s married to money, she’ll be safe.“
- Reality: She ends up enslaved, silenced, or broken.
Psychological Truths Behind Denial & Ignoring Red Flags
Why do people stay with toxic partners?
Cognitive Dissonance
“She loves me. She cheated. Both can’t be true. So I’ll ignore the cheating.”
This inner stress makes people deny reality to protect their ego.
Men in Denial
- Many Indian men idealize purity.
- Raised to suppress emotion.
- Believe loyalty is automatic if love exists. They often stay in denial to accept the reality of others.
Women in Denial
- Believe “he will change for me.”
- Raised to obey and adjust.
- Believe loyalty is automatic if love exists. They often stay in denial to accept the reality of others.
Pro Tip
You can see now how many relationships fail after 10 years, 3 years, or even just 2 years.
But think about it—was there truly no hint earlier? In most cases, you did see it coming. You just ignored the red flags due to emotional attachment, infatuation, or ego-based denial.
Don’t let preconceived notions like “he’s handsome,” or “she’s independent,” blind you to core character issues. Outer personality and charm fade—what lasts is how someone behaves under pressure, treats you in arguments, and whether they:
- Console you when you’re upset
- Admit when they’re wrong
- Apologize sincerely
- Stay calm or become hostile under tension
- Blame you constantly or shift accountability
- Use science, feminism, or masculinity to justify emotional harm
If someone consistently avoids communication and deflects blame using intellectual arguments or gender roles, that’s a clear red flag. These things don’t disappear with time—they grow worse.
Tip: Ask questions. Note reactions. Track patterns.
A relationship can only survive if both partners evolve and communicate. If that doesn’t happen—you’ve seen your red flag.
Lastly, Red Flags Aren’t the End, But They Are a Warning
Think of them as traffic signals.
“Ignoring a red light in traffic might cost your life. Ignoring a red flag in love might cost your peace.”
In Short: Final Checklist to Spot a Red Flag Person
Do they respect your decisions?
- Are they obsessed with appearances?
- Do they idealize or devalue you?
- Do they change under stress?
- Are they listening, really listening?
- Do they value control more than connection?
- What are their idealism/ideology and value system?
If you’re unsure, talk. Observe. Don’t judge out loud—just understand and decide by yourself.
This isn’t about paranoia. It’s about emotional safety.
Because love is only love when it’s safe.
FAQ
1. Who is considered a red flag person in a relationship?
A red flag person is someone who shows behaviors or attitudes that signal emotional danger, manipulation, abuse, or lack of compatibility. This includes controlling behavior, dishonesty, emotional immaturity, and disrespect for boundaries.
2. What does “baddie” mean in modern Gen Z culture?
A “baddie” often refers to someone, usually female, who is confident, attractive, and assertive about her lifestyle and appearance. However, the term is often overused online to promote superficiality, materialism, or toxic traits disguised as confidence.
3. Can red flags be seen early in a relationship?
Yes. Red flags often appear early through dismissive attitudes, aggressive tones, over-possessiveness, or lack of emotional intelligence. Ignoring them due to attraction or denial leads to long-term regret.
4. Are red flags gender-specific?
No. Red flags exist in both men and women. While some traits are culturally conditioned—like male dominance or female emotional manipulation—red flags are about behaviors, not gender.
6. Why do people ignore red flags?
Due to cognitive dissonance, emotional dependency, or hope for change, people often rationalize red flags. Many also lack relationship education or fear loneliness.
7. What does “Ad Hominem” mean in a relationship context?
It’s when one partner attacks the other’s character instead of addressing the issue—e.g., “You’re too sensitive” instead of discussing what caused hurt. It’s a logical fallacy and emotional manipulation tactic.
8. How does Indian culture influence red flag behavior?
Cultural norms like arranged marriages, dowry expectations, and gender roles sometimes normalize red flags—such as control or silence. Families may prioritize financial security over emotional safety, masking red flags as tradition.
9. Can a red flag person change?
Only if they are self-aware, willing to take accountability, and work on themselves genuinely—through therapy, communication, and mutual effort. Love alone cannot change them.
10. How to deal with red flags in a relationship?
Communicate honestly, observe consistently, and trust your intuition. Set boundaries early and don’t justify bad behavior. If the pattern repeats, consider walking away.
Amrita Sarkar (pronounced Aam-ri-to), is a content creator, B.Com graduate, CA aspirant, and PGDM student who has discovered a fresh passion for digital writing. With a sharp eye for trends and a deep curiosity for how the internet shapes our lives, Amrito writes insightful pieces on digital media, internet culture, and personal observations. This blog is his creative outlet—where analysis meets storytelling.